Visiting Home. Israel 2018
Every visit of mine to Israel holds a different experience.
Every time I arrive, it seems like everything has changed around me. The people I knew growing up, changed a bit. My family and relatives are not always themselves and the city is developing tremendously as you can find construction work everywhere. New buildings are built and even the places I knew look a bit different.. But at the end, it is me who arrives a bit different. Not the same as I was on my last visit. I change each time. The only thing that doesn’t change is that I am instantly filled with emotion and nostalgia. Our wonderful country moves and touches my soul every single time.
I miss my relatives when I am in LA. There is something comforting about being Home. Just being present and devoted to a family drama upfront and embracing quality time with family and friends. I get a chance to reminisce. It’s always important to me that I cover my visits with a blanket of memories that derive from my mom’s warm hug. I like to go visit the neighborhood I grew up in and the street where we spent time with my mom during her last years of life. I visit her grave. I take a deep breath and cherish the moment.
In Israel, everywhere I look, memories surface from my childhood or other times in my life. There is an outburst of emotions attached to those sights.
Songs that play on the radio take me back, certain smells throw me back to specific moments in life, the colorful markets, the city’s alleys and my favorite beaches, all remind me who I am and where it all started. It seems like every visit back home conceals new insights and produces a new package of longings. I will carry that package with me back to LA as provision for the rest of the way.
In The City Of Angeles
In LA, my life is focused. The piles of emotion that take over during my visits in Israel are repressed and kept in a special drawer that only opens while I’m there. My life in diaspora is focused on accomplishment, growth and creativity. No white sound. No dwelling on the past. There are no big dramas while I walk my path towards the horizon on my way to achieving my goals.
My mom comes to me in my dreams and embraces me when I make important decisions. She is there in the most exciting events of my life and smiles upon me from the clouds in every minute that I’m happy and every time I succeed.
Only when I visit Israel everything resurfaces. All of a sudden I’m 16 again, back to the street I grew up on, and to the scenery that accompanied my childhood.
Israel is love and each visit excites me every time. I am always happy to pack my luggage with new memories from my recent visits and go back to LA and yearn for it all over again. Until the next time.